Kyle and I had to completely change our wedding when we got married on March 21, 2020. It was hard to say the least, and we were the first couple to have a COVID wedding that we knew. At that point lockdown had only been going on for two days in our college town. Since then, I’ve watch many a couple have to cancel, alter, or postpone their wedding days.
Losing your original wedding plan is a super sad thing, and so I wanted to write out a post on the best ways to practically and emotionally support a couple who is going through this season.
Practically
- Write them a letter, send them a quick voice memo or text, and let them know how much you care for them! Include info like what you will be doing when you watch their ceremony, marriage advice, encouragement, ideas for couple date nights, sex advice—all the funny & sweet things you can think of!
2. If you were going to give them a gift before the plans changed, PLEASE STILL GIVE THEM A GIFT. This isn’t a request from a materialistic or greedy heart! There are many reasons for this:
- It shows that you consider it a pleasure, not a burden, to materially bless them.
- Lots of people are going to not give them presents since they were un-invited. With the job market the way it is, young people are already at a disadvantage financially! This is a simple way for you to make it easier on their pocket book in the coming months and next few years.
- Decorating your home/apartment is part of getting married. It’s a way to FEEL like you got married! To create a space that is for you and your spouse is a treat. It brings joy. This is a way to give them a little JOY, and to make their wedding feel somewhat normal.
3. Watch their live stream! And let them know that you did. If you are close to the couple, send them a video of you and your family (and your kids!) watching it! This is not the same as having you at their wedding, but it can help fill that social/communal ache just a little bit.
4. If you are close to the couple and the wedding was suppose to be a sweet chance to see them, offer to take them out to dinner/cook for them to celebrate their marriage next time you are in the same town. This is a way to still celebrate them & make them feel that communal support and excitement!
5. Send them flowers or some food the week leading up to the wedding. And then FaceTime them and say hello!
6. Ask them how you can support them during this time. This can be a sweet encouragement. Just a “we are thinking about you, let us know how we can support you during this time. We are here if you need anything.”
Emotionally
- Do not offer your opinion on their wedding choices. There is likely no one more concerned with making sure everyone is happy than the couple, while still having some sense of a normal wedding day. If you disagree with something, unless someone’s life is at risk (which could be possible during this season), you do not need to tell them. If you think something is very wrong, just don’t participate, and be as low-key and chill about it as possible.
2. Be a shoulder to cry on; don’t try to fix everything or relate (unless you ACTUALLY can relate of course.) One of the best thing you can do is just be a listening ear or a human klennex. Sometimes someone is just plain sad, and they just need to be sad for a minute. It’s human to mourn, and an important part of being human in a fallen world. Ecclesiastics says there is a time to mourn. Let them mourn.
3. Send them a Scripture verse that is applicable.
4. Pray for them. (and actually, really, pray for them!)
Hopefully this is helpful! Big thank you to everyone who uses this information and puts it to practice. ♡
Be sure to share with friends that might also be supporting COVID couples!
In Christ,
Mary Mad
earth to mm 